Rudy Ray Moore is well known as a comedian who recorded raunchy comedy albums, usually rhyming while cool jazz played in the background. Dolemite is a character who Rudy steps into to make some of his best stuff happen. Dolemite is a character who is a kung fu fighting, smooth talking pimp, is the greatest in bed and employs an array of martial arts hoes to do his bidding. The New York Times calls this "The Citizen Kane of blaxploitation films!" and I for one am ready to revisit this movie.
The first film, simply titled Dolemite, sees our character starting out in prison. Dolemite was wrongfully accused of dealing drugs during a set up. Why didn't they just get Dolemite on the many other things he actually did, such as run a prostitution ring, or murdering people? Well anyway the warden brings Dolemite to his office where he says that Dolemite can go free if he agrees to help clean up the streets of the big drug kings now in charge of the area. The main guy Dolemite is worried about is Willie Green, a rival pimp who seems to have bought up excess stuff that has been sold off from Dolemite's seedy empire, including a club that Dolemite loves. A madam that works for Dolemite named Queen Bee has been trying to keep things afloat and also enrolls his bitches in the Chuck Norris Martial Arts School. If you've got an empire to protect, that is the way to do it mother fucker!
So Dolemite has some catching up to do. Specifically he needs to bang lots of hoe's vaginas. He immediately starts banging two of them in the back seat and some of Green's men start to chase him down. Dolemite murders them with a rifle on the highway. Then he goes out to see what happened to his neighborhood. This leads to him finding out that Green owns the club and has a former hooker of Dolemite's in his employ. Well then, it looks like it's time for Dolemite to... bang some bitches, drive around, get framed again, and bang more bitches. This framing happens when he's getting info from an old contact that is now a drug addict, which leads to some martial arts and a gun fight.
One of Dolemite's plans is to have a party at his old club. So he breaks in, grabs some money hidden in the floor I think, and pays off Willie Green's men what the Dolemite empire owes him. After a brief interlude where Dolemite watches his bitches do kung fu, it's off to the club to do a stand up show. Oh yeah, it's revealed that Green works with the Mayor. It is well known that Dolemite is a serious mutha fucka when it comes to laying down sweet rhyming stories to the beat of music. This of course impresses Willie Green who stops by and offers to go into business with Dolemite. There is only one way to respond to such a thing though, and that is to kung fu Green and kill every single mother fucker in the goddamn mother fucking army of Willie Fucking Green with the help of his fine ass pussy peddling kung fu hookers.
In the fight with Willie, Dolemite is shot but he rips out Willie's stomach. Some police guy comes out and shoots Willie to make sure they can't pin it on Dolemite. So he goes to the hospital. The cop guy chases down the Mayor after a failed attempt at assassination by one of the hookers makes the Mayor flee. The Mayor is killed trying to get in a plane. It is revealed to Dolemite that his cop friend is an FBI agent, and that there is a hit out on him. This is quickly resolved in the hospital by the death of every last mother fucking guy who dares to accept the hit on Dolemite and their asses get murdered in the hospital that seemingly has the darkest damn hallways known to man. Also there are some corrupt cops that are sort of in the movie and they get arrested fairly quickly.
I glossed over a few things, but this movie is downright awesome. The budget is pretty low, but they make up for it with a hell of a lot of nudity. The editing is not so great, but they make up for it with bad ass music. The acting is usually sub par, but they make up for it with not so great kung fu, and Dolemite doing stand up. So there's violence, nudity, drugs, pimps, hoes, kung fu, guns, car chases, and stand up comedy in this movie. What the fuck else do you need?
Stay tuned for the next installment. I will be updating frequently to get the entire box taken care of. That way you will know all you need to about the film saga of Dolemite, and Rudy Ray Moore's greatest feats of acting and comedy.
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